


5 times Grimmjow made Ulquiorra smile (+1 time Ulquiorra stopped Grimmjow from crying)

by fanvergent6426



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Bleach - Freeform, Kinda, M/M, but not really, but they don't know it yet, strong language used, they're in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-07-28 10:50:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7637230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanvergent6426/pseuds/fanvergent6426
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ulquiorra felt empty for a very long time until Aizen made him join his Arrancar and he got to meet Grimmjow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Murderous kitten

Emptiness.

That was the best word Ulquiorra managed to think off. That is probably saying something since he had an awfully long time to think. As far as he could remember back to his days as a human, emptiness meant that there was something missing from its usual place. 

And that is exactly how he felt: empty. There was nothing except for faint memories of what was supposed to be there. That was the only thing he felt at all. His mask prevented him from any physical feelings: no hunger, no smells, no taste. He didn't need to feed or breath, not even just to occupy the time or try to become Vasto Lorde like some others here wanted to. He just... existed.  
It was terribly dull really. Now that even emotions wore off it was simply boring. A long time ago, hollows tried attacking him. The first few times it brought the thrill back for a second, the adrenaline rush and the fear for his life. He wanted to feel more of it. And so he killed. And killed. And killed. Until no more of that rush was left at all. He then tried searching for something other. Something. Anything at all. 

The next eternity was spent in wandering about the desert, only sand around as he searched. At times frustration washed over him and then he would shred anything he could find with his claws, any tiny bush and every unfortunate hollow. 

And than that stopped too. Not even frustration left, no anger, nothing; that's when it got really boring. 

Nothing. 

Emptiness. 

A tree? Yes, I think it might be. White. Why is it white? Nothing was white here except for hollows. It's big. Kinda looks like a bunch of skeletons. Maybe it is. No, seems more like a tree up close. It's hollow inside. Just like me. 

Ulquiorra climbed inside and sat down, pulling his knees close to his chest. 

Wait.

Ulquiorra. Ulquiorra Cifer.

He nearly forgot it, that name. After all, what was the point to remember if he couldn't even say it? Couldn't say anything. He started scratching the name into the tree trunk he sat against. He wasn't sure if that was how it was spelt. What did it matter?

***

Aizen looked at the white tree in front of him. He was certain he felt strong reatsu from it but it was just a tree. He walked around it and on the other side found a sort of entrance by the roots that led inside the tree's hollow trunk. Inside, he could make out a slim figure sitting on the ground and looking right at him. The ears, Aizen thought, they were bat like therefore it must've heard him approaching a long way off with hearing like that; even though Aizen was wearing the reatsu concealing cloak he stole a while back from Urahara Kisuke's lab. The hollow, however, continued to sit completely still so Aizen proceeded inside, as the tree was large enough to allow both of them to move around freely. Once there, he noticed the inside of the trunk was covered in writing. Just two words in fact, repeated over and over. 

Ulquiorra Cifer. 

'Ulquiorra Cifer?' Once he said what he reckoned was the hollows name, it nodded slightly, its cautious eyes never leaving Aizen.  
Aizen realised this Ulquiorra couldn't even speak: the hollow mask preventing it from any use of the mouth or any other senses apart from sight and hearing as it covered its whole face. 

What a strange mask. That must be very inconvenient Aizen thought. 

Ulquiorra then pointed at its hollow hole, located just below and between its collarbones, and then at Aizen; question in its green eyes. 

'No, I'm not a hollow. I'm a Shinigami.' At this the hollow's eyes widened with shock but then it relaxed again, looking rather bored by this point. It pointed at Aizen again, then moved its slim hand across its throat, as if cutting across it and then pointed at itself again. 

'I don't want to kill you.' Aizen answered. 'I want you to join my forces.' 

At this the hollow shook its head in disagreement. 

'I fight against the other shinigami. I'm using Las Noches as the base and I need strong hollow like you, I can give you even more strength and power.' Aizen tried to reason but the hollow still shook its head. 

'Well, in that case I have no use for you.' Aizen let out a sigh and pulled out Kyōka Suigetsu but before he could strike, the hollow was up and moving towards him, hand with razor sharp claws outstretched and reaching straight for Aizen's heart. Aizen smirked as the hollow pierced his quickly created illusion and flashstepped behind it.  
'I underestimated your speed, Ulquiorra.' 

The hollow glanced quickly in disbelief at the corpse in front of it that was already disappearing before it used sonido to leave the tree for the first time in a very long time. 

Ulquiorra looked back to see if the strange Shinigami was following but instead of the cloaked figure he felt an incredibly strong reatsu; nothing like anything he felt before and infinitely stronger than his own. The Shinigami reappeared, this time the cloak folded neatly in his hands. It must've somehow concealed his strength while he was wearing it. Ulquiorra readied himself in case of an attack and realised that he was afraid. 

He could die here. 

This Shinigami was too strong. Almost impossibly strong. There was no way Ulquiorra would win. Strangely enough, he also caught himself thinking that he didn't want to die, not anymore. 

The fight wasn't a long one. Ulquiorra would strike, slashing, cutting and ripping everything he could reach, Aizen parrying everything with ease and counterattacking, almost always hitting the target. But when Ulquiorra finally managed to land a lethal blow, it always turned out to be an illusion he was fighting while the real target was standing safely out of his reach, always with the little calm smile on his lips. They repeated this a few times until Ulquiorra was covered with cuts, his usually white body now bright red with blood. If he needed to breath, he would be struggling to do so. He however did feel incredibly weak and tired. He lay face down in the sand as the tiny particles made their way into his ears and eyes, sticking to the blood-soaked skin. He couldn't use any of his senses now. He was completely blind and defenceless. 

And he was so, so afraid. 

He felt himself being picked up from behind and carried somewhere. He felt the familiar tree bark against his back. He tried to open his eyes to look around him but all he could see were rough outlines and figures, one of them moving away from him slowly. 

'If you change your mind, come to Las Noches,' was all he heard before losing his consciousness. 

***

Ulquiorra was only just getting used to his new strength acquired thanks to Lord Aizen. He said the new from was called "Arrancar" and made hollows part Shinigami: their masks broke partly, they got swords and most had their hollow hole move somewhere else in the body, not just over the heart. 

Ulquiorra's stayed the same. 

He did get rid of the annoying mask; he could now at least speak and basically use all the normal senses once again. It was confusing at first but he got used to it and was able to participate in practice battles shortly after transformation. Though one thing stayed the same: he barely felt a thing. He was still so empty. Everything was still so incredibly dull. 

He didn't like the other Arrancar and they didn't like him. Everyone seemed to be following their own ends and have their own personal reasons for coming under Aizen's control. And everyone was so loud and stupid and annoying. They kept fighting each other outside their training, trying to overthrow one another and climb closer to Aizen. 

Most of them wanted to kill him. 

Ulquiorra didn't care much. He knew they wouldn't succeed and therefore felt no need to involve himself in the dull quarrels. He didn't mind Yammy as much as the others. They were sent on a couple of missions together and at least Yammy followed orders without much consideration or complaining, staying fairly bearable as long as he was allowed to kill time to time. 

Today Aizen-sama sent them to try to recruit a strange panther-like hollow that seemed pretty strong, judging by the fact that it managed to turn into an Adjuchas and the mountains of corpses it left behind. Well, not quite left. It seemed to be eating them after killing, determined to become Vasto Lorde. 

Finding it wasn't exactly the hardest thing, the reatsu being fairly a strong one (plus the noise of another of his soon-to-be meals). Yammy was more annoying than usual that day, not having killed or smashed anything for a few days now.

He went straight at the panther hollow, trying to grab it with one massive hand and throwing the hollow it was about to eat about half the desert away. The panther jumped back, dodging the outstretched hand and leaped straight onto it claws out. It bit Yammy, reaping a large piece of flash out from the back of the hand. Yammy staggered backwards, roaring in pain and tried to slap the panther away with the other hand but it was already running towards Ulquiorra, preparing for an attack. 

Ulquiorra, however, was more prepared and focused than Yammy. He shot cero at the running hollow, aiming not to hit but to blind it for a second and used that time to unleash his sword, slashing at the panther but barely managing to scratch its right front leg. The panther tried to retreat, its blood-covered mouth stretched in a snarl, eyes flashing with excited fire. But Yammy was right behind it now, this time he managed to hold it down to the ground with the uninjured hand, the other one was now covered in blood, dripping onto the sand and Ulquiorra caught a glimpse of bone in the wound. It must be pretty strong to pull out a piece of flash that size Ulquiorra thought before turning his eyes to the hollow. 

It was now struggling to get free of the grasp, looking more like a captured kitten than an enraged panther: making whimpering noise of frustration and huffing as it couldn't get even a single leg free. Ulquiorra caught himself smiling slightly at the scene, the hollow looking nearly cute? Huh that's weird, haven't used that word in a while. 

"Yo Ulquiorra what'cha grinnin' at? Can I kill this lil' kitty?" Yammy looked rather satisfied with the capture of the hollow but still looked at it hungrily, most likely looking forward to snapping it in half. 

"No. Lord Aizen wants it alive." Ulquiorra quickly got rid of the smile: it was rather uncomfortable. 

"LEMME GO YOU BASTARD I AIN'T NO CAT FOR YA! FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN! WHATCHA BLUBBERIN' 'BOUT?! LIKE HELL AM I GOIN' ANYWHERE!! YA BETTER LET ME GO BEFORE I KICK YA SORRY ASS!!!"

Ulquiorra realised it was the panther shouting; he didn't think this hollow could talk. The hollow abandoned any attempt to pull himself, judging by the voice, free and now kept shouting various insults at pretty mush the whole world. Ulquiorra had no more interest in the matter though; it was time to deliver this kitten to Aizen-sama. 

"Let's go Yammy."


	2. The cero competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow starts messing around with his Fraccion out of pure boredom and ends up setting himself on fire. He doesn't mind though, taking that it led to Ulquiorra smiling.

It was boring. Why couldn't he at least go out to the forest and kill a few hollows? Fuck Aizen and his plans! Grimmjow was bored as hell! At least Las Noches was a bit of a change from the bloody desert. How did they make the sky ceiling again? Ah, who the fuck cares! Though he had to admit that he was at least a bit grateful since Aizen was able to turn his companions into Arrancar as well so at least he had his group back together. 

And he liked the new power. Oh, it was great! He could've murdered just about anyone if he didn't risk being killed by Aizen later. Until some others showed up of course. Like Stark and Harribell. And then there were always morons like Nnoitora and what pissed him off the most was that he /still couldn't win against bloody Ulquiorra/! Other than his fraccion and the power, he cursed that green-eyed bastard, Aizen's loyal lapdog, for /literally/ dragging him here with the use of that headless idiot Yammy.

Aizen said there's some sort of war coming up with the shinigami and now he got pulled into this whole pile of bullshit! What did he care about some weaklings? Aizen said they weren't gonna be much of a problem anyway! He just hoped none of them killed Aizen, that was his job! He would become the king of Hueco Mindo! And then he'll go into the human world and do the same there! And he'll destroy anyone who shows up on his way!

Right now Grimmjow was with his fraccion in the inside open space, still a desert like the one outside but with some actual light here. Di Roy proposed a cero competition so that's what they've been doing for a little while now. They started shooting cero as far as they could and nearly blew away one of the closest walls when Grimmjow got into a heated argument with Showlong, then they tried creating the biggest cero they could and Grimmjow would have won it if /somebody/ didn't distrust him by running head first into his side and nearly making the cero explode in his own face! 

"YOU ASSHOLE I NEARLY MADE ANOTHER HOLE IN MY OWN HEAD!!!!" Grimmjow roared as he tried shooting fairly weak cero at the escaping Arrancar. 

The problem was that he tried hiding amongst the other Fraccion which did end up with most of them scattering quickly and trying to fire cero in all directions to pay back to their rampaging leader. 

And one of the shots reached their target. 

It was a sliding hit along Grimmjow's back but it was more than enough to set his jacket on fire. So, as a result of the competition they were left with: one flaming Espada who was running around screaming for his fraccion to put out the flames and 5 of the mentioned fraccion rolling on the desert floor crying with laughter as their "leader" tried to stop the flames from reaching his treasured hair as well as actually trying not to burn himself too badly. 

Once he managed to get the burning jacket off, Grimmjow stood up from the ground he was rolling around on a few moments prior in order to put out the flames and looked around at his Fraccion who were still lying on the said floor. In the corner of his sharp, cat-like eyes Grimmjow caught slight movement and turned around expecting anything other than what he saw. 

On a small balcony overlooking the desert a fair distance away, there stood Ulquiorra, looking right at Grimmjow. But that was not the strange part. He was smiling. Not an evil smirk or a half hearted twitch of his mouth at a bad joke Aizen said that could be seen rarely at best of times. It was a calm, nearly kind smile, something Grimmjow never even thought he'd see on that face. Even the was Ulquiorra stood was weird, confusing, he was leaning against the banisters, his chin resting easily on his palm, back slightly bent. His whole posture was so unlike Ulquiorra that all Grimmjow could do was stare back at the pale Espada, hypnotized by that one smile. 

They locked eyes for a brief moment, one staring in disbelief, the other in slight panic and then it was over and Ulquiorra was walking away, back into the depths of the building, his back perfectly straight once again. 

***

Grimmjow liked his room. It was one of the few things he really enjoyed in this literal hell. It was one of the larger ones; perks of being an Espada, with a large bed that he was currently lying on, sofas, a table, he even managed to steal a few books from the mortal world that he kept safely on a shelf. 

He chose the one that was looking out onto the real desert outside and the everlasting night, not the inside space Aizen created. It was always dark in there. He liked the dark. It was calming. It gave him the privilege of seeing with his cat-like eyes when others were blind and he liked it. People tried to be quiet in the dark because they relied on hearing and because they were scared to disturb what was hiding in the dark so it was only in the dark that he could relax from the noise of others. Grimmjow didn't even let his Fraccion in. 

He couldn't rest however. He kept trying pushing his thoughts away; to focus on the usually calming dark but today it kept bringing back the memory of the smile. It was certainly directed at him, he could recall Ulquiorra following Grimmjow with his eyes until he realised he himself was being observed and than left quickly as if caught doing something forbidden. It was so simple and human that it felt utterly out of place: something so warm where before only coldness was seen. Grimmjow's mind kept wandering around the familiar dark hair and the bright green eyes, cold as a snake's, and how kind they looked. He tried to control his thoughts, to try and remember the hatred for the pale features that he felt only a day earlier, but the warmth that blossomed like a small flower in his chest felt so /good and right/! Finally something in this madhouse started to make sense to him, finally there was something pleasant! 

He completely relaxed, putting his hands under his head as he lay on his back in the soft mattress, looking at the never-changing moon hanging in the fake sky of Hueco Mundo. He let his mind run free, always coming back to the smile, the surprising yet pleasant warm light in the green eyes. Grimmjow wondered how it would feel to run his hands through the raven hair, to trace the green lines under those eyes. He found himself thinking that he never wants to see tears from Ulquiorra's eyes to follow that trail, never wants to see the expression of sorrow and utter emptiness again. He only ever wants to see that smile. And Grimmjow realised he would do whatever it takes to bring the smile back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to Connor for beta reading this! follow him on tumblr @the-hyrule-shinigami


	3. Warm feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Due to Aizen's plans, there's a chance not many Arrancar will survive the upcoming battles so Grimmjow decides it is time he acts.

Ulquiorra felt completely dumbstruck for the past week or so. Ever since the weird incident on the balcony; everything somehow changed and he wasn't sure if he was overthinking it or not but he somehow felt so many things he hasn't experienced in what seemed like millennia at once: in the overall mix of feelings he couldn't identify, he also felt anxious, uneasy and, what was the strangest feeling so far, he felt happy as well and it was completely throwing him off. Aizen and his silly wars didn't matter all of a sudden but Ulquiorra wasn't entirely sure what did. 

He suddenly realised that the only reason he was loyal to Aizen was because here, this close to him, he felt fear. It was practically the only thing he felt for a while now. 

Until that day on the balcony. 

All he did was go to one of his quiet places because Yammy hasn't killed anyone in a while and was starting to seriously annoy him; it was his favourite spot, overlooking the interior desert. Ulquiorra liked imagining the sun there being the real thing, like in the human world. He wished he was free to just go there whenever he pleased and stay for however long, not having to worry about any of the petty wars Aizen had planned. He sometimes let his mind wonder what it was like being fully human. 

It was not his fault Grimmjow and his idiotic gang decided to fuck around and almost destroy a good part of Las Noches. It was very amusing to watch though, especially when Grimmjow got head-butted and his own cero nearly blew up in his face. Ulquiorra somehow found himself relaxing slowly as he watched the show beneath him, the constant tension in his back disappearing; he placed his hands on the rails for support and propped his head up on his left hand. He never usually did this but in that moment it felt so comfortable and right somehow. Then somebody tried to incinerate Grimmjow's jacket and he looked so hilarious and adorable when he ran around while trying to put out the flames. Ulquiorra, unaware of his own actions, smiled softly while watching the scene as the blue-haired Espada jokingly shouted at his Fraccion. 

And then Grimmjow noticed him. 

They locked eyes and Ulquiorra immediately felt exposed and scared, as if he was caught doing something wrong. He realised he was still smiling and now he was straight out panicking. He straightened up, pressed his lips into his usual thin line and left as quickly as he could without looking too rushed before Grimmjow could spot the blush creeping on his face. How long has it been since he felt that embarrassed? And worst of all, he couldn't pinpoint exactly why he was suddenly feeling that way. 

For about a day after the incident it seemed the things went back to normal. Aizen called a meeting for the Espada and Grimmjow proceeded, with his usual explosive character and snarky remarks, to try and fight every single person present in the room. Except that the threats and mocking he addressed at Ulquiorra somehow seemed halfhearted, not as strong as the ones he hurled at the others, his eyes not throwing daggers like usual but instead looking somewhere between scared and soft. Strangely, Ulquiorra found himself weirdly elevated about this, as if this was a very good thing. 

The next day it got even worse. 

Ulquiorra was walking down one of the corridors when he saw the blue-haired Espada turn the corner and walk towards him. Ulquiorra prepared himself for another portion of the usual snarls but they never came. Instead what he saw was a smile. Not a smirk either, it was a small but genuine smile. Ulquiorra stared in shock before realizing he was smiling back, the corners of his lips softly turned up. 

Over the next few days this continued to progress. A smile here, a small greeting there. Grimmjow would still put on a show when others were around and throw insults at Ulquiorra but then when they would see each other next time he'd whisper a small "sorry" as he walked past. Ulquiorra started to look forward to these moments, even if they were confusing the living hell out of him. They never lasted long, there was never any explanation and Grimmjow refused to actually talk to him directly. But the usually empty Espada found himself feeling slightly happier when he would pass the other and hear a quiet "hi". He started to notice the softness in those blue eyes when they looked right into his green ones. He even started to memorize the places where he had a greater chance of running into the other hollow. 

Ulquiorra wouldn't let himself get his hopes up and start assuming anything but one thing he could not ignore: the tiny warm feeling growing in his chest like a flower.

And that was a very good feeling. 

***

Ulquiorra was sitting in his room on one of the two white sofas facing each other near the back wall with a large window overlooking the outside desert, soft moonlight pooling into his room. It was late evening, most Espada probably asleep by now. He was trying to see his white tree somewhere out there even though he knew perfectly well it was too far to see. He has never done this until a few days ago. 

Aizen told them all at today's meeting that he isn't planning anything interesting to happen for about another week or so, saying that everything is going according to his plan and Ulquiorra readily believed him because not once has their leader been wrong so far. However, Aizen did mention that once the action starts, it will be big and there was a great chance that things were not going to be the same anymore. The Espada of course knew it meant that Aizen was willing to sacrifice each and every one of them in order to reach his goal. Most of them knew it from the beginning and they didn't fear death. Except Ulquiorra did. Maybe fear wasn't the right word, he would be disappointed to lose such an intriguing new situation or whatever it was. 

Ulquiorra kept going through the events of the past week in his head over and over for the lack of other activity and absentmindedly noticed the footsteps outside the door with his sharp ears but dismissed it as nothing important since nobody visited him, except for maybe Yammy when he was particularly bored. 

Except the steps were getting much closer than usual and revealed a much smaller person than Yammy outside. An uncertain knock on the door made Ulquiorra snap back to the present moment. He stared at his door for a few long moments, contemplating who it could be when he realised that the person was waiting for permission to come in. This startled him even more since most Arrancar would not come to his room at all and those who would wouldn't bother with courtesies like that, preferring to break doors or make new ones in the walls. 

He finally made himself master a more or less normal-sounding "come in" before starting to doubt his eyes as well as his ears. Those were the two things he always believed since for a long time he had nothing else to trust. But right now, his eyes were telling him there was a slightly awkward but determined looking Grimmjow walking towards him and his ears revealed that Grimmjow was struggling to keep his breath even and his heart was beating faster than normal. Much faster if the fact that generally it didn't really beat at all was taken into account. How exactly Arrancar functioned, remained a mystery to him. 

Ulquiorra realised that he was staring but couldn't help it as he watched the other Espada make his way across the room and sit on the sofa opposite to Ulquiorra. Grimmjow attempted to look relaxed by leaning back and crossing his legs but ended up looking even more nervous and uncomfortable than before, which made Ulquiorra smile faintly. Grimmjow noticed it and breathed out slightly, not registering that he was holding his breath. 

Ulquiorra, still watching the blue-eyed Espada closely, let out a soft "hello", like so many times in the corridors, which seemed to make Grimmjow smile and blush slightly, completely confusing Ulquiorra. He did not know what this warm feeling was but he liked it, what he didn't like was the anxiety that seemed to accompany the feeling. It felt like it was trying to grow but he was too scared to let it do so and so he sat there, waiting for Grimmjow to talk. 

After a few deep breaths, the newcomer finally spoke:

"Uh, well, fuck, okay feel free to ignore everything I'm about to say but just hear me out alright? I need to get this out before I send this all to shit and explode, especially after Aizen's news today." Another breath in, out. "I don't know what all this shit is and I don't really know what to do with it either but I just can't cope with all this anymore because Aizen is planning his dumbass wars and if all hell breaks loose, literally, I might never get a chance to tell you this properly and I gotta do this, okay? I just do. Dammit I'm a fucking coward if I don't do this so just listen alright?"

Ulquiorra nodded slightly, noticing his own heart racing, making him suddenly aware how hot it was in his room as he continued to stare at Grimmjow in complete shock, the warmth in his chest stubbornly trying to spread, threateningly hot now. 

"This is probably just some human bullshit and means nothing at all but... I... fucking hell why is this so damned hard?! I care about you! Shit I care about you more than I thought I was even capable of and now that there's a chance one or both of us go down soon, it's sharper and more apparent than ever! From the very first time we met, I felt something different towards you and it made me so angry that I couldn't even bring myself to think about any of this. I couldn't forget your smile alright? You probably don't even remember but you smiled when we first met and you haven't smiled since, I couldn't even get a smirk out of you."

Grimmjow bent over, resting his elbows on his legs, fingers nervously twisting his hair, his voice suddenly quieter and softer, as if all anger left his body. 

"I started to wonder if I made it up, you know? Until that day, when I saw you on the balcony. It was even better than the one I caught a glimpse of back when you dragged my sorry ass to this shit hole. And then I couldn't stop thinking about it and I know it's fucking dumb and lame as shits but I just can't stop and it's driving me nuts!" 

Grimmjow was now grabbing handfuls of his hair as if trying to tear it all out. "I don't want you to ever frown again, if needed I will guard your happiness my damn self, all my life seems to revolve around you now!" He said, anger creeping back into him.   
"I couldn't give less fucks about that stuck up fucking shinigami or his dumbass games, the only thing that seems important, really important, is you and every time somebody as much as looks at you wrong, I feel like tearing them to fucking pieces!! I... shit I think I like you. More than even as a friend and I can't exactly say I have a lot of them!" Grimmjow hid his face in his hands, unable to look up. "Everything about you makes my insides turn into knots and when I think that I made you smile like that, I thank whatever made hollow not need to breath anymore because I fucking cannot physically do it! And hopefully I'll die in this clusterfuck that Aizen has planned because I can't bear being like this any m-"

He shut up abruptly when he felt Ulquiorra's hands on his own, moving them away from his face. Grimmjow looked up slowly, imagining all the worst scenarios in a span of several moments. Instead, he was met with the brightest smile he has ever seen. 

Ulquiorra was beaming, he was practically glowing from the inside and Grimmjow decided this was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. 

Ulquiorra gave up fighting the feeling in his chest a while ago, letting it settle and grow with every word Grimmjow said; it felt so big it almost splashed out of him, enveloping him in the comfort and softness. Grimmjow reached out and delicately cupped Ulquiorra's pale face with his hands and Ulquiorra, acting completely on instinct, did the same to him. 

"Can... can I... kiss you?" He asked wearily, wanting to look away but being completely unable to look at anything other than the brilliantly blue eyes, fear still lingering in his own green ones. Grimmjow's eyes flew wide open but after a moment of processing what he just heard, he nodded slightly. After a second of hesitation, Ulquiorra leaned down, closing the distance between them completely and closed his eyes. 

He flinched slightly at the unexpected warmth as he felt the other Espada's lips on his own; there was suddenly so much of it but not the stale or suffocating warmth, on the other hand, it was comforting and so good. He slowly closed his eyes and as Ulquiorra worriedly went to pull away, he kissed back. Ulquiorra felt the other pull him gently down into the kiss and moved to sit in Grimmjow's lap, his knees straddling the other hollow's hips. He felt strong but gentle hands in his hair and let his own snake around the other man's torso, one in his hair and the other on his back. He pressed himself as close as he could manage to Grimmjow, but still kissing slowly, carefully, it being an unexplored area for both of them. Every single thought in Ulquiorra's head now was revolving around Grimmjow, the feeling of his skin, the salty taste of his lips, which were much smoother than he expected, and every other thing in the universe, everything leading Ulquiorra back to this moment, back to him. 

Grimmjow pulled back slightly and whispered hoarsely:  
"Can I stay here tonight? As in sleep with you? Not like sleep with you, just literally sleep with you."

Ulquiorra smiled softly and cupped his face again, stroking his right thumb across Grimmjow's cheek carefully before replying:  
"You can stay here for as long as you want." He then bent down to press a firm kiss onto the other man's forehead. "And yes, you can sleep with me."

Grimmjow smiled back before kissing Ulquiorra again, more confidently this time and Ulquiorra kissed right back, mouth slightly open. 

"You aren't gonna move, are you?" Grimmjow whispered into the kiss.

"Nope." Ulquiorra replied without missing a beat, making Grimmjow laugh. 

"Hold on then!" He replied, holding Ulquiorra tightly as he stood up and walked towards the bed. He carefully lowered the smaller Espada onto the mattress and discarded his jacket and sandals. Ulquiorra did the same and climbed under the covers, Grimmjow followed suit. Ulquiorra turned his back to him and Grimmjow pulled the other man closer to him, placing one arm over him. "Goodnight." He whispered into Ulquiorra's ear and planted a soft kiss into his shoulder. 

"Goodnight." He replied, smiling. 

Ulquiorra liked the feeling of skin on skin, of warmth and comfort the other Espada brought; he liked the closeness he never had before; he liked the feeling that now fully blossomed in his chest and he most definitely liked Grimmjow. He didn't realise he was crying until he heard Grimmjow's concerned voice:

"Are you crying?"

"I think so."

"Is everything okay?"

"Never better." Ulquiorra said contently, pressing himself closer to Grimmjow and letting himself drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Shiro for beta reading this chapter! Go follow her on Tumblr http://teenage-mutant-angsty-zukos.tumblr.com/ and please let me know what you think and if you find any mistakes! Thanks for reading!


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